[Slightly Feverish Continent] [Note: Parody of Passionate Continent, a Japanese documentary program.]
[Singer: Tsu Terakado]
[Slightly Feverish Continent]
The singer Tsu Terakado.
When she was an amateur, she played live performances on the streets.
She made her pro debut when she caught the eye of a talent scout.
Soon after, she was wrapped up in a scandal and her popularity declined.
For a while, there were rumors she was going to retire.
But she made a miraculous comeback under the production of Tsunpo,
[Note: Tsunpo is a parody of Tsunku, a Japanese record producer, songwriter, and vocalist.]
a mysterious hit-maker who never revels himself to the media.
She is truly a first-rate pop idol in name and in reality.
We covered her closely as she composed her new song.
[Shibuya Regretful Hall] [Note: Parody of Shibuya Public Hall.]
[June 12] [Thank you in advance, attack of the hornet.]
Our coverage of her began on the last day of her national tour.
I like it... I like drinking...
I like it... I like drinking with you...
Liquor, liquor, liquor, liquor...
No drinking today.
Liquor, liquor, liquor, liquor, liquor...
Drunk with you and P-chan...
Everyone, thank you for coming, corn poop!!
Corn poop!!
Today, I have a very important announcement, Mas Oyama!!
[Note: Mas Oyama is a famous karate master.]
Mas Oyama!!
The truth is...
The release date for my new single has been set, Tamba black beans!!
[Note: Tamba (old province of Japan) is famous for producing high quality black beans.]
[Q: What do you think about the announcement of her new single?]
Well, this is the first time I've been excited since her last single came out.
I'm definitely going to buy it.
I think it's important to know whether it's edible or not.
Well, I might be a bit hesitant to buy it if they end up
releasing several different versions of the single like they do
[Note: Japanese pop idols often release several versions of a single to boost sales.]
with other pop stars' albums.
[Q: Who are you?]
I'm Tsu Terakado Fan Club Captain Shinpachi Shimura!!
Sergeant, recite Article 7 of the Fan Club Regulations!!
[Q: What is Article 7 of the Fan Club Regulations?]
Owowowow. "Members are to buy four of each of Otsu's CDs:
one for storing, one for looking at, one for propagating,
and one for actual use."
That's right!!
Sergeant, even though you are one of our leaders,
your comments go against this rule!!
[Q: What do you mean by "actual use"?]
Therefore you will be punished with the
Nose Hook Destroyer Second Illumination!!
The night the album was announced, excitement continued to rage on.
News of it immediately spread throughout Edo.
[Tsu Terakado's new single!! On sale soon!]
[Tsu Terakado's new single, the long awaited debut!]
[One day in June] [AnipleX (Note: Parody of Aniplex)]
But on a certain day in June, the situation took a turn for the worse.
[Q: What sort of business do you have here today?]
Well, I'm not sure. I was suddenly called in for an important talk.
Good morning, Otsu-chan.
Good morning.
Well, I think they probably just want to tell me
the demo for the new song came in.
Huh?
We're going to postpone sales.
Hey! Why?! Why is this happening?!
We don't have a song written. It can't be helped.
[Ichi Terakado (Otsu's mother and manager)]
Tsunpo-san made the decision himself...
That's right!!
[Toba-san (Employee from AnipleX in charge of Otsu)]
Yesterday, we suddenly got a call from Tsunpo-san...
He said...
"I was playing my shamisen,
when a man with naturally wavy hair hit my helicopter
with a wooden sword and it crashed into the ground.
"I sprained my finger. I'll get serious next year, so wait for a while"...
So he says...
That's the stupidest reason ever!!
We can't postpone the sale of my important new song because of a crazy reason like that.
Anyway...
"I was playing my shamisen,
when a man with naturally wavy hair hit my helicopter
with a wooden sword and it crashed into the ground"?
That could never happen!! This isn't an anime!!
This isn't... an anime...
I just thought of a nice song.
Otsu-chan, that's probably plagiarism!!
[Note: "This Isn't An Anime" (Anime Ja Nai) is the opening theme song to Gundam ZZ.]
Otsu already made a public announcement
about the release of her new song...
To postpone it because of some nonsense about playing a shamisen
and his helicopter crashing into the ground...
There's no way he'd only have suffered a sprained finger.
Is that all you care about, Mom?!
There was a good deal of conflict
at the last-minute meeting about postponing Otsu's new single.
We asked everyone for their thoughts
about Tsunpo, the producer...
and the cause of this problem.
[Q: What kind of person is Tsunpo?]
Huh? Tsunpo-san?
He's an amazing guy.
His bold, yet delicate, skills keep others from getting near him and
puts him in a strong positing to keep climbing to fame.
He sells and still causes a stir on the scene.
He's a true samurai.
[Q: Tell us about Tsunpo-san.]
Well, ever since he's been producing her, Otsu's been a gold-record artist.
But I can't accept this. I never expected he'd sprain his finger.
[Q: That really bothers you, doesn't it?]
[Q: What do you think about Tsunpo-san?]
I think it's important to know whether he's edible or not.
But Toba-san, I don't want to postpone this!
You can bring in a different producer!
I can make my own song for the first time in a while!!
Well, I understand your feelings about your first new song, Otsu-chan.
But I don't have anyone who can take Tsunpo's place...
And your own songs never really sold, anyway...
Shut your face...
Shut up and bring me Akimoto or Mackey...
[Note: Yasushi Akimoto and Mackey (Noriyuki Makihara) are Japanese songwriters and producers.]
Anyway, do you even want to do this?
Realistically speaking, when am I going to get an album,
or a karaoke release? I've been waiting all this time...
Huh?!
O-Otsu-chan, what's wrong?
Oh my. I lost my temper, tanuki balls.
Well, excuse me.
I don't remember raising her to be like that.
I-I'm all right, Mrs. Terakado.
Is that so?
[Q: Are you going to wait for Tsunpo-san?]
Our staff asked Otsu what she thought
about postponing the release of her new song.
I'll manage by myself!!
I'm still somewhat of a musician.
I wrote my own songs before Tsunpo-san became my songwriter,
I should be able to make an amazing song that's as good as his.
Then...
[Three Hours Later]
I can't write anything!!
Why? Is it because I made some money?
Or is it because I don't have a clear goal?
Is it because I lack concentration?
Is it because I'm hungry?
Is it because I can't remember what I ate yesterday?
Is it because I haven't been in an episode in a while and I can't remember the last time I was in one?
Or is it because...my talent's dried up?
No! No!
This isn't a matter of talent!!
Masterpieces are difficult to create!!
In that case...
[Q: Why are you suddenly going on a trip?]
I was spoiled by my situation.
I have to go to a place where no one
knows who I am, reexamine myself,
and get back the feelings I lost.
Nakata went on a trip to find himself.
[Note: Hide Nakata is a Japanese soccer player.]
I must do that, too...
Ah... This is heaven...
[Q: Is your song done yet?]
No! I can't be doing this!
You can't!
But...
Long time no see, Dynamite Otsu...
Yes, same here, The Demoness Haruna...
[Wild Pro Wrestling]
How many years has it been since out last fight?
If I close my eyes, I remember my memories with you...
[A touching and randomly cast...]
[Big Success Story]
[The Tsu Terakado Story - The Musical] [Note: Japanese pop stars often make their success story into a musical.]
When Otsu returned to Earth, she was...
...unable to make the time to write a new song because of her busy schedule.
Friendship! Dynamite!
Friendship! The Demoness Haruna!
It's friendship! The two letters that spell friendship...
[Note: Friendship in Japanese is "友情." (yuujou)]
Duwa!!
[Q: Can you complete your song?]
[Slightly Feverish Continent]
Please come in.
Today, I'm opening Tsu Terakado Productions' new Japanese restaurant.
Everyone, please come in.
Her new song was to be released the next day…
Please come and eat here!
Right now, we have foie gras at 30,000 yen!
But Otsu's busy days continued.
[Q: It doesn't look like people are impressed with the restaurant…]
Well, of course. I don't feel like eating there.
[Simple Dishes Fukinoto Corn Poop]
Not at a place with a name like that…
[Q: What do you think?]
I think it's important to know whether it's edible or not.
Everyone, please come in.
Putting aside this campaign for a restaurant that closed after a month,
Please come and eat here!
the deadline for the release of her new song is…
Please come in.
Getting closer and closer.
Yeah! I'm gonna win!
Wait!!
I can't make it… I really am no good.
I can't do anything by myself. I'm a manufactured pop idol.
I couldn't even write a song by myself.
In the end, all my struggles were in vain.
Yes. Tomorrow, I'm going to apologize in front of everyone.
I thought that was the case.
M-Mom!
It's not just me.
E-Everyone… Why?
I know you.
You got stubborn and tried to handle everything by yourself, didn't you?
Mom…
Your mom asked me to bring over everyone you knew.
Toba-san!
I'll bet no one expected me to show up again.
The Demoness Haruna!
I caused you a lot of trouble when you were Chief for the day.
I'm going to repay you, tax thief.
Kondo-san!!
I was forced to come, but I want to see an Elephas namadicas's poop.
[Note: Elephas namadicus is a small prehistoric elephant.]
Hijikata-san!
Now I’ve done it…
I've done it again…
Makoto-chan!
And Corpse-chan!!
Huh? Come to think of it, where's the Captain?
You're right. He's not here.
It's not a bad thing to be stubborn and stick it out on your own.
But you're not alone.
Otsu, everyone's gathered here for your sake.
In order to help you…
Yes. Tsu Terakado is supported by all these people.
Have confidence. Everyone supports you.
There's still time until the release!
We'll help you!!
It's not like you to give up, Otsu-chan!!
Since you've come this far, you've got to do it.
Everyone… Thank you. I'll give it a try…
I'll do it!!
I will!
I'll write an excellent song!!
Well said, Otsu. Let's go and compose that song.
We've managed to secure a meeting room.
Then let's get over there right away!
Yeah!
[Later, that night]
["Otsu is composing a song. Keep out" - Mother]
I did it!!
Everyone, sorry to keep you waiting for hours.
Thanks to you, I'm almost finished with my song.
Actually, there's still one problem left…
The lyrics don’t feel right.
It kind of doesn't have much punch.
That's not true! These are good lyrics!
I'm not afraid. That's because you're here.
I've made up my mind. So I'm not turning back.
To hell with those who act as if they're important.
It's risky if you get too used to really nasty jokes.
Now free yourself from control.
Go anywhere. Fly to an unseen new world.
Who cares about broadcast regulations? You don't need brakes.
Who cares about broadcast regulations?
My heart is always dressed in white.
[Note: White traditionally worn at funerals.]
Hmm…
Oh! I thought of something great.
This doesn't…
…have any punch to it. So if you do this to it…
Gin-chan, I also thought of something cruel!
Hey! How could the two of you do that to Otsu-chan's lyrics?!
Make that part cute like this!!
Oh! I also thought of something!
Hey, that's not fair, Toshi! In that case, I also thought of something!
I also have an idea!!
Do you think it would sell better if we did this?
No, if we do this…
Amazing…
Everyone's pouring their ideas into my song.
This is amazing. Yes, this is the energy I wanted!
This is good…
This is definitely good!!
[Shibuya Kokaido]
[September 18 (New song announcement concert, Tamba black beans.)]
Everyone, thank you for coming today, corn poop!!
Corn poop!!
A lot happened, but I finally completed my new song…
Please listen to it!!
This is my new single!!
"Who Cares About Broadcasting Regulations"!
The thing I'm afraid of is…
[Bush].
[Note: Most of the [*bleep*] words are not allowed to be broadcasted on TV in Japan.]
That's because he's [insane].
The [methamphetamine] is working.
So I won't be able to [sleep] for three [days].
[Day laborers] with bad [backs]…
Those people, [f**k you]!!
I'm making jokes out of [madness]. I'm beginning to [see] [hallucinations].
Come on!!
[Trample] on the [eyes of the law].
[Go] anywhere. Fly to a [crazy] world…
Who cares about broadcasting regulations!
A thirty-minute discussion on [going commando]!!
Who cares about broadcasting regulations!
I don't [care] if I become [limp].
[I don't] care about [broadcasting regulations].
Am I not allowed to say [which planet]?
I don't [care about broadcasting regulations].
They're probably not going to air it.
[Censored]
If I die, I'm taking you all with me, got that necromancer?!
[Tsu Terakado's New Single]
["Who Cares About Broadcasting Regulations"]
[Sale Discontinued]
[Slightly Feverish Continent]
On the next Slightly Feverish Continent,
we're featuring a charismatic, homeless, Musashi-like man.
His unrestrained and eccentric lifestyle gains the sympathy of today's youth.
We will be uncovering the secret to his marvelous cardboard collecting skills.
[Slightly Feverish Continent]
On the next, next Slightly Feverish Continent, we're featuring Prince Hata of Midland Star.
His philanthropic spirit, which he only shows to animals,
gains the sympathy of today's…
[Slightly Feverish Continent]
On the next Slightly Feverish Continent after that, we're featuring Viper.
The lifestyle he leads after being downsized gains the sympathy of…
I'm not afraid.
That's because you're here.
I've made up my mind.
So I'm not turning back.
To hell with those who act as if they're important.
It's risky if you get too used to really nasty jokes.
Now free yourself from control.
Go anywhere.
Fly to an unseen new world.
Who cares about broadcast regulations?
You don't need brakes.
Who cares about broadcast regulations?
My heart is always dressed in white.
If I die, I'm taking you all with me, got that necromancer?!
[Third Year, Group Z Ginpachi-sensei]
Third Year, Group Z…
Ginpachi-sensei!
If this doesn't go in, I'll die.
No, if this goes in, I'll be revived.
If this goes in, I'll get another chance to revive myself.
No, that was a joke. This is for real.
Actually, this one is the real one.
That was just for practice.
If this one goes in, all those other ones are nullified.
No, this is my last chance. If I miss this one, I'll go to hell.
How silly…
[Third Year, Group Z Ginpachi-sensei]
Third Year, Group Z…
Ginpachi-sensei!
Alien 1 and 2 were great, but 3 was horrible.
Also, Terminator 2 was also good. I cried when Schwa-chan was sinking.
[Note: Schwa-chan is Japanese nickname for Arnold Schwarzenegger.]
I don't remember 3, though.
Anyway, we've reached the middle of the third year of the GinTama anime.
Sensei, don't start us off by making us look bad.
Anyway, this world is structured in a way that the 3rd one always fails.
“You can only get carried away until 2.”
This is going to appear on the test. Take notes.
Sensei, Home Alone 2 was horrible! How do you explain that?!
Macaulay Culkin-kun got carried away in 2 as if it were 3.
He acted like “I'm Macaulay. So what?”
“What do you think? My face is sickening, isn't it?”
When child actors get carried away, sometimes number 2 gets turned into a 3.
This will be on the test. Don't be tricked.
Wait!! Then what about Dragon Quest 3?
I thought 3 was a masterpiece.
In 3, Ortega was like, “I fell into a volcano. So what?”
“What do you think? I showed up, didn't I?” It's been upgraded to 4. It's not 3.
Sensei, Ortega isn't a child actor. He's an old man.
From Zoman’s point of view, Baramos and Ortega are child actors.
[Note: Ortega, Zoman, Baranis are all characters from Dragon Quest.]
Hijikata, why don't you advance a year and become a fourth year student?
Okay!!
I'm going home to watch Karate Kid, Part III.
[The End]
[Preview]
This is terrible! In this episode, we'll be entering the final chapter of GinTama!
What?!
GinTama is ending?!
But didn't we just say we were in the middle of the third year?
Anyway, it means you should keep watching from now until the end!!
[GinTama, the Anime]
[Entering… Its final chapter!]